Category Archives: Raising Men

Tipping: When And How Much

I do a fair amount of domestic moving about.  In fact, I just got back from a short trip this weekend.  And for awhile now I’ve been struck by how many occasions I’m called upon to tip.  And I’m just beside myself for feeling out of touch.

For much of my working life I’ve been supported by tips.  I bussed tables in college and then moved on to a banquet server.  Later I became a bartender during school and then, in Seattle, I earned my complete living as a bartender for 4+ years.  I consider myself “in tune” with the tip’ed population but admit to now being confused.

So, here are some times off the top of my head that call for tipping:

  • Waiter/waitress – Bartender
  • Coffee barista
  • Taxi driver
  • Tipping the maid service when checking out of a hotel
  • Bell hop up and then down
  • Bell hop calling for the car valet
  • The car valet
  • Dry cleaner
  • To Go check out at restaurants
  • Bathroom attendants
  • Car wash attendant
  • Truck delivery guys when you purchase a washer/dryer from Sears
  • Pizza delivery guy

And I’m sure there’s more.

In many of these cases I’m not sure that tipping is warranted, in the others, I’m at a loss for how much to tip.  I just totally admit to not knowing.

You?

 

Where Is Pino

I have largely been absent for the last week or so.  I am spending most of my non-work time organizing a BBQ fundraiser here in Raleigh.

We are selling BBQ plates to raise money for a local charity:

PLM Families Together is developing a new housing service that moves families directly from homelessness into housing or from other shelters into housing. Rather than having families move from shelter program to shelter program in today’s times when the short term stay at shelters is not enough for family stabilization, we will focus on stable housing first. Once housed, we will continue to work with the family for 12 months, helping them learn the skills for budgeting and working with landlords that is needed to maintain that housing. Housing first reduces the number of transitions for the family. Initial rental subsidy will be available for housing and will gradually decrease as families meet their goals; a less expensive model than renting our own apartments.

Additionally, we are selling tickets that will donate a plate to Urban Ministries of Durham.

Urban Ministries of Durham (UMD) welcomes approximately more than 6,000 people each year who come seeking food, shelter, clothing and supportive services.

UMD is the point of entry, triage and emergency services in the Durham homelessness continuum of care network.  Our programs are designed to:

  • Help prevent homelessness by providing food and clothing to offset living expenses and by referring guests to others in the community who may be able to provide additional help;
  • Assist those who are homeless by providing emergency shelter, stabilization assistance such as recovery programs and medical referrals, and  to help them connect with the resources that will enable them to return to stable housing as quickly as possible;
  • Foster collaboration with community partners so that coordinated efforts can provide needed  longer term housing and supportive service needs; and
  • Offer support with dignity and compassion to neighbors in need, regardless of  their ability to leave homelessness at the time.

It’s been very busy and challenging, but the event will be held this weekend.  I  can’t wait to see the whole of the experience result in success.

By the way, if you’re interested in participating, I have the ability to sell tickets through PayPal and you can contribute to the donation of a plate of Carolina BBQ to the folks over at UMD.  Just drop me a note in the comments or e-mail me at:

pino.online@gmail.com

I hope to resume more full time blogging very soon!

 

Of Things Women And Children

In battle and in ship wrecks the call is the same, “Women and children first.”  We know it.  We expect it.

And this is because we have come to expect that the women and the children are victims of the evils and brutality of the world.  They are innocent and as such, should be spared the atrocities of life.

There are, however, people who fit in the NOT women and children space.  These are people who are not innocent of said atrocities.  Who are actors.  Who willingly participate in the leveling evil and wickedness upon the world.

Continue reading

Some GOOD News

I have to remember that it wasn’t all that long ago I was one of those folks in the world that didn’t pay attention to all this stuff.  I’ve always been able to name the President and the Vice-President but beyond that….not so much.  Secretary of State?  Speaker or Senate Majority Leader?  No way.

So, when I discuss this new found hobby with folks, many of ’em don’t know what I’m talking about.  Or even care.

And then I wonder that if they aren’t plugged into my world is it possible that I’m missing theirs?  That I’m so concerned with the shit that is all things politics I’m missing the much of the point; that is .. life?

Maybe.

I saw this story and sat back.  Maybe it’s all just okay.

APEX, N.C. —

A Middle Creek High School student with leukemia had his wish granted by the Make-A-Wish foundation, but he didn’t ask for a trip to Disney World.

Instead, Rashawn King asked that the entire students, faculty and staff of his high school get a free lunch in thanks for their support of him during his illness. King has acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

So the entire school – 1,900 people – get a free lunch Thursday. The lunches will be provided starting at 10:30 a.m. Thursday. Chick-fil-A is providing the lunches.

Kristen Mercer Johnson, the president of the Eastern North Carolina Make-A-Wish foundation, said the group was “truly honored to be able to grant Rashawn’s wish.”

This program is built to grant a wish to a kid.  To give them something that they may not otherwise ever have the opportunity to have.  Cars, visits from professional athletes and even trips.  This young man didn’t want that.

“It speaks to the character of this young man who decided to use his wish to thank the Middle Creek High School community,” she said.

Indeed.

Friendship, Morality and Brotherly Love

The tenants of a Master Mason.

In a world so eager to differentiate one from another based on politics or faith is it any wonder that we see war and conflict all around the globe?  Where we see walls rather than bridges?

It is with no small amount of honor and satisfaction that in a region dominated by the differences of Arab and Jew we see the peaceful association and love and admiration from one to another in a Free Mason’s lodge:

A Greek Orthodox Palestinian Arab, Nadim Mansour, has been installed in Tel Aviv as Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of the State of Israel, a position he will hold until 2013.
Israel has had two previous Palestinian Arab Grand Masters – Yakob Nazee (1933-1940) and Jamil Shalhoub (1981-1982).
Nadim Mansour, who was born in Haifa but moved to Acre aged five, was initiated – as a Lewis – into Lodge Akko in 1971, of which his father Elias was a founder, and in 1980 became its Master. He also has the rank of 33rd Degree in the Ancient and Accepted Rite.
Currently, the Grand Lodge has about 1,200 members in 56 lodges, working in ten languages – Hebrew, Arabic, English, French, Hungarian, Rumanian, Turkish, Russian, German and Spanish – and five different religions.

As the governments of the region prepare for war, Free Masons continue to do what they always do, rejoice in the sublime existence of a love between one brother and another.

It will not be until the world can follow the example f the gentle Mason and leave the differences of the profane world outside the door of the temple and agree that all man can find reason TO agree.

The Best Of Times


Watching the Twins today. Had a great moment with my 6 year-old kid. Earlier in the weekend we began exploring what a batting average is. I explained it this way:

If Jeter has an average of .312 it means that if he has 1,000 chances to get a hit or get an out, he gets a hit 312 times.

As we watched the Twins some freakin’ guy named Clete steps to the plate for the hometown 9.  The child laughs at Clete’s .000 AVG 0 HRS 0 RBIS line.  Just as I say, “If  ‘ol Clete here were to get 1,000 chances to get a hit, he’d get ZERO of ….”

And then the bastard goes yard on me. Me boy fell out laughing. How cool is it that he got that?

Then he asked me if I thought the Twins would win now that we were up 3-2. I said, “No.” He said, “Why not daddy?” to which I replied, “Cause we’re a horrible ballclub son.”

He just nodded and said, “Yup.”

I just saw that we lost 4-3.

How We Payed For Healthcare In The Past

There was a time when the government didn’t tend to the care of her citizens like we do now.  I was researching another post or comment or something and came across this:

While the health care community and academics searched for a single insurance plan for delivering health care, the absence of regulation left individual Americans free to solve the problem on their own. They proceeded to do so, aided in the effort by a number of medical entrepreneurs.

In spite of the price increases, most people still paid for medical care out of their own pockets.  Estimated health expenditures in 1929 were $3,649 million. Of that, consumers paid $2,937 million, public sources paid $495 million, and philanthropy paid $217 million.

Employer plans covered only a tiny minority of people. Most sickness insurance was provided by mutual benefit associations unrelated to work—fraternal societies like the Loyal Order of Moose, the Knights and Ladies of
Security, the Ladies of the Maccabees, and the Société Française de Bienfaisance Mutuelle, which built San Francisco’s French Hospital in 1852. According to Stewart, there were thousands of fraternal societies operating in New York’s Lower East Side at the beginning of the 1900s. Existing for the benefit of their members and offering benefits that were not contingent on employment, many of the societies “employed or contracted with physicians to care for dues-paying members for as little as $1 to $2 per year per member. In some eastern and southern cities, a third to a half of some ethnic groups depended on these organizations for medical care. In New Orleans 88% of the entire population was said to be covered by some form of prepaid ‘contract medicine,’ also known as ‘lodge medicine’ by 1888.”

Historian David Beito estimates that in 1910 at least one-third of adult males belonged to fraternal societies that provided nearly every service of the modern welfare state “including orphanages, hospitals, job exchanges, homes for the elderly, and scholarship programs.”  Fraternal societies had a number of competitors including “commercialgroup plans, government workmen’s compensation programs, trade unions and industrial unions, company-sponsored mutual benefit societies, and other fraternal orders that provided life insurance or non-stipulated (discretionary) relief.”

Before the government intervened to solve our healthcare crisis, we were doing it ourselves.  We banded together, formed our own organizations and took care of each other.

However, there was one thing going FOR those social organizations that is missing from the government run programs; accountability:

The fact is that the fraternal societies knew their members gave them an advantage in issuing disability and sickness insurance. Lodges had home visiting committees that helped uncover false claims and one or two week waiting periods requiring members applying for aid to shoulder some of the financial load. Unlike many of the public proposals, the societies also had behavioral requirements that made life less attractive while receiving payments. Emery
reports that fraternal groups could require that “members receiving benefits could not drink or gamble and in some cases were not allowed to be away from their residence after dark.”

The fraternal societies were made up of friends, neighbors and associates.  Further, they worked to prevent fraud and ensure that a life of leisure while accepting benefits wasn’t allowed.

A sad cry from where we are today.

 

An Open Letter To Occupy Raleigh

I want to be very clear; I openly mock the Occupy movement.

There isn’t one single characteristic about #OWS that distinguishes it from any other leftist movement.  Listening to the rhetoric coming from Occupy you would not be able to identify whether or not your are listening to:

  1. A Greenpeace protest to save seals in Greenland.
  2. A university protest to bring attention to the wages of house keepers on campus.
  3. NAACP protests concerned about the treatment of an individual.
  4. A communist party meeting discussing the evils of profits.

There is nothing that distinguishes you from anything that we’ve already seen.

It’s anger unleashed on the world with no discernible focus.  There is no clear indication that you have a point.

You are open to mockery.

Continue reading

Of Liberals And Conservatives: Rush and Maher

Rush stepped in it.

I know he’s an entertainer.  I know he’s just a commentator looking for ratings.  I know he likes to lambaste.

But there’s a line; he crossed it.

What I find interesting isn’t that Rush crossed that line or the hot water he’s now in, that’s predictable and this’ll pass.  What I find interesting is the standard that liberals have of themselves.

Continue reading

Occupy Raleigh: Gone Galt

Earlier this month I posted on the frustration of certain members of Occupy Raleigh.  It seemed that the “1%” of the movement was beginning to get fed up with the “99%.”

To those of you who continue to complain, and whine, and bitch, and moan about the camp – just fucking stop. We are all tired of hearing it. If you have a problem at the camp, come fix it. I can not fix everything myself. Jes can not fix everything herself. Thomas can not fix everything by himself. Nor can Charles, Susie, or any of the other people who do put an effort in.

In some ways this Occupy movement is a useful lesson to those involved.  It’s perhaps their first involvement in running an organization.  In generating consensus, in knowing when consensus is a paralyzing goal.  For the first time in life these folks might be managing people.  However, for some of the citizens of this society, enough simply became enough.

They “Gone Galt.”

Continue reading