Category Archives: Idiots on Parade

Dear Occupy Wall Street, We Are Sorry, It’s Our Fault

I’ve been making fun of the protesters up in New York.  Camping out for days on end, complaining about capitalism on hand held phones, and iPads and Facebooks.  They have laptops and smart phones and tablet PCs.  They can make websites and Twitter.  And they are mad at the people who made those things.  Weird/  The irony of a nation mourning one of the greatest capitalists of his generation while simultaneously protesting his work is fascinating to me.

Stinky hippies.

I firmly believe that they need to make better choices.  I don’t think that they should major in Middle Eastern Studies with a minor in Art History specializing in Persian pottery.  I don’t think that they should buy bottled water when they don’t have a job.  I DO think that they should get a job.  I don’t agree that it’s just okay to protest government over reach and then occupy private property when that private property owner wants to clean things up.

Anyway, there’s a ton I don’t get with these protesters.  A ton I DO get, but a ton I don’t. And I wanna blame ’em.  I do.  ‘Cause I’m good like that; assigning responsibility for actions.  So when these kids act like they do, I wanna blame them for their own actions.

But I saw something the other day that made me shake my head and shrug.  We can’t blame them.  Not after this.  Rather than teaching our youth that with hard work comes great success, we are teaching them that failure has no consequence.  That you can do just any ‘ol thing and it’ll be okay, just a-o-k.

We teach it at our Universities:

NORTH CAROLINA STATE UNIVERSITY

REG 02.20.16 – Undergraduate Grade Exclusion

Authority:  Provost and Executive Vice Chancellor

History: First Issued: August 23, 2011.

1.1  Undergraduate students may select up to two NC State courses with posted letter grades of C- or below to be excluded from calculation of their cumulative grade point average.  Unsuccessful audits or credit-only attempts are not eligible for exclusion.

So, to all you misguided youth in NYC and all OVER this great land, I offer you my apology.  It may not be your fault that you are growing up to be Leftists.  I now see that we are actively teaching you to be Leftists.

My bad.

 

Occupy Wall Street Comes To North Carolina

With the passing of Steve Jobs, his Commencement Address at Stanford is making the rounds.  The message of his words is powerful, the speech itself, actually, is massively forgettable.  But his Opus, his yawlp, is most impressive.

Stay hungry.  Stay foolish.

I resonate.  I’m nearly 43, well into a decent career at a massive corporation doing better than I have a right to ask.  But I’m hungry.  And I do foolish shit all day long.  All the time.  In fact, I yearn for the foolish, I embrace the foolish.

I get foolish.

So I understand that fire in the belly of the college kid who watches on TV as other college kids go do stuff.  Get noticed and make a name if not a statement.  But holy moly, there is a massive learning curve here:

Chapel Hill, N.C. — Hundreds of North Carolina college students walked out of class Wednesday afternoon as the weeks-long protest against Wall Street spread to universities nationwide.

I get it.  I do.  To get noticed you have to do things that are noticeable.  And if you really think that there are people being victimized, I urge you to get noticed:

Apart from the message of Occupy Wall Street, which is people over profit, is that UNC students, regardless of political or socio-economic background, have issues on this campus,” student Denise Mitchell said. “Students just don’t feel like they’re being heard by the university.

Huh?  Wait, this isn’t some attempt to improve student/faculty relations at some flippin’ university is it?

Mitchell cited a recent study that found UNC housekeepers feel they are treated unfairly…

What the what?  Wait, Occupy Wall Street is a movement that wants to draw attention to the fact that the very wealthy are, in fact wealthy, because of the shenanigans on of massive banks.  So, using that as cover you walk out of class to voice student concerns that housekeepers don’t think life is fair?

…and an investigation into the Department of African and Afro-American Studies following allegations of plagiarism by a former football player.

Right.  ‘Cause the fact that a football player plagiarized his work is shocking only because what, 85% of the student body is guilty as well?  Is it because he’s black?  Hell, IS he even black?

More proof that our education system is failing us follows:

Students used Facebook and other social media outlets to spread word of the noon protests. They say they represent 99 percent of Americans – people struggling to get by while the wealthiest one percent makes financial decisions.

“People will become aware and will know that we are the 99 percent, and our voices will not be ignored,” N.C. State student Katina Gad said.

Do they understand what 99% means?  Do they understand what struggling to get by means?  As an exercise, if they are so poor and so struggling, how are they organizing using Facebook?

The stupid continues:

“If you look at any group of people (who) are being discriminated against, I think youth and students are a big part of that. We’ve taken on massive amounts of student loans to go into what jobs?” said Ryan Thompson, who helped organize the small protest on N.C. State’s Brickyard.

“How are we going to pay $50,000 in debt when there are no jobs out there?” UNC student Ana Maria Reichenbach said.

Stunning.

If you look at any group of people who are being discriminated against…..

Don’t do it man, do NOT say that YOU are being discriminated against.

I think youth and students are a big part of that.

You did it.  But that aside, what does that even MEAN?  Youth and students are a big part of WHAT?  What in the HELL are you talking about?

How are we going to pay $50,000 in debt when there are no jobs out there?

So, now that you’ve decided to drop a cool 50 large on a European Classical Renaissance Philosophy / German Sociology degree and are shocked to learn that no one gives a fuck, you think I’M on the hook for your stupid student loans?

Check this out.  Being 50k down should disqualify you for almost any reasonable job out there where a corporation is going to trust you with their money.  If you can’t manage YOUR money, how do you expect any one to let you manage theirs?

Area college students are planning a citywide protest in Raleigh’s Moore Square at 5 p.m. Sunday, and many of the students said they plan to travel to New York in the next few weeks to show their support in person to the hundreds of protesters on Wall Street.

Again.  I resonate.  But if you are going to flush a $50,000 education down the toilet so that you can get arrested in New York, at least do it with a plan.  Be organized.  Be coherent.  Have points that are well thought out, organized and documented.  Be crisp and concise.  Make sure that one point is related to the next.  It should flow and people should go:

Yeah!  I never thought of it that way before.

But, then again, if you knew that, I suspect you wouldn’t be making the trip to NY in the first place,

The Right Way And The Wrong Way

When faced with an unpleasant situation, there is a right way to handle it and then there is a wrong way.

First, the unpleasant situation:

Bank of America announced late last month that it plans to start charging debit card users a monthly fee starting early next year.

Now, the right way:

Due to the fee, Roger Goodwin is considering leaving Bank of America and getting an account with a local credit union.

“They do not have fees, and I also have an account with another bank that is also going to start charging for checking,”

Then, the wrong way:

U.S. Rep. Brad Miller said the fees should be illegal, according to WMFY.

Guess which way is going to produce the greatest change in the debit card market?

I’m With The Government, I’m Here To Help You

I wish life were a Jon Stewart show.

I love watching me some Stewart.  Now, I don’t watch it daily, in fact, I don’t watch it weekly, but I record it and watch 4-5-6 episodes a night every so often.  And I’m always glad I did.  He’s hilarious.  His comedic rhythm is very nearly unmatched, his voices are crazy funny and the physical communication he brings to his verbal communication is nothing short of perfect,

The man is mad skilled.

And he’s able to see the funny in the everyday.

Yes indeed, I wish that everyday was a Jon Stewart show.

Today, I have good news for you.  Today is a Jon Stewart show kinda day.  The day when you blissfully walk through life and the normal inane aspects of the day strike you as hilarious.  Simply hilarious.

So, we all know that the bankers on Wall Street caused the crash in 07 ’cause they’re greedy.  Right?  And after the crash of 07, the government bailed out those bankers in order that our financial system didn’t completely crash.  And, after getting bailed out by said government, those banks went on to report record profits and lavish themselves with more high salaries and bigger bonuses.

With me still?

So, then, in response to the unfairness of the whole thing, the government, led by the Intrepid Due of Frank and Dodd, crafted and then passed legislation into law that would protect the consumer from the predatory actions of those mean banks that crashed the system and then stole the government’s bailout money.

One of the things that said legislation did was to restrict the amount of money that banks could charge merchants for using a debit card at the point of transaction.  See, banks have record profits already and by the use of those fees, they were strangling economic growth at the checkout counter all over America.

Poof.  Just like that, the fees used to pay for the use of a debit card were sliced in half.

Thank gawd for that, right?

Wrong.

It turns out that managing debit card transactions isn’t free.  Further, that cost isn’t negligible.  And now that the banks are unable to charge the merchant, the banks went after another target to gather their money; the consumer!  Ahh yes, the very consumer that Dodd and Frank were trying to protect.  The irony is as delicious as it was unpredictable.  Certainly NO ONE would have seen this coming.

Dear Government, thank you for trying to save me from myself by passing ignorant laws that only make matters worse.  However, the consequences of your well intentioned law is that I am actually worse off now than I was before.  Can you please help me?

Love,

pino

And just like a great Jon Stewart show, the hits just keep coming:

WASHINGTON — North Carolina Democrat Congressman Brad Miller has introduced legislation he said will make it easier for customers to change banks if they aren’t happy with new fees.

The bill will modernize and streamline the opening and closing of personal checking and savings accounts, Miller said Tuesday.

“As megabanks flirt with menus of new fees, an increasing number of Americans will want to switch banks,” Miller said. “That is the way things work in a competitive, free market as unrepentant banks are still trying to rake in vulgar profits from their customers.”

With such flowing and beautiful language, I’m sure, just SURE, that this bill is gonna be a good one!

Miller’s legislation would allow customers to close an account without being charged a fee, even if the account has a negative balance. Customers would also be allowed to close accounts without actually showing up in person.

It would also prohibit banks from levying fees to a customer’s account after the account has been requested to be closed.

The great thing about great comedy is that future riffs are set up by hilarious content early in the show.  A great comic is able to set himself up for future use.  Most often this is done within the context of the single show and will have to be re-created for the next one.  But the truly great are able to so skillfully build content that it can span episodes.

This is one of those times.

I predict nothing but really great news for consumers should Brad Miller’s bill make it to law.

Okay okay okay.  In all seriousness.  I have already demonstrated that Liberals don’t understand things like economics.  So the fact that Miller is proposing this legislation isn’t so much surprising as it is an argument for better public education.

Cause and Effect

Economics 101 people, econ 101:

Bank of America, the nation’s biggest bank, said on Thursday that it planned to start charging customers a $5 monthly fee when they used their debit cards for purchases. It was just one of several new charges expected to hit consumers as new regulations crimp banks’ profits.

Wells Fargo and Chase are testing $3 monthly debit card fees. Regions Financial, based in Birmingham, Ala., plans to start charging a $4 fee next month, while SunTrust, another regional powerhouse, is charging a $5 fee.

And why are banks now looking to charge their customers who use their cards to access their money?

The round of new charges stems from a rule, which takes effect on Saturday, that limits the fees that banks can levy on merchants every time a consumer uses a debit card to make a purchase. The rule, known as the Durbin amendment, after its sponsor Senator Richard J. Durbin, is a crucial part of the Dodd-Frank financial overhaul law.

This shouldn’t surprise anyone except Liberals:

The More Liberal You Are – The Less You Know About Economics

If Obama simply announced he wasn’t running for President in 2012, the market would go up by 1000 points.  I guarantee it.

Therefore I Have To Work

There is no way that this is serious commentary.

The rhetoric and language is simply too stereo typical.  However, the poster does have 57 videos.  But then again, Colbert has many more.

Please tell me I’m right insaying this is satire:

A Real Life Example Of Liberal’s Use of Racism And Media Bias

Ahh, the Inter-loops, such a grand way to identify the hypocrisy of people.

Like here, where we are discussing the Left’s claim that the conservatives are racists. How wonderfully ironic that the inventor of said Inter-loops is caught up in the story.

Here we have a Google search of:

al gore climate talk racism

And the results:

See?  When Al Gore equates climate change skeptics to racism we get 3.3 million hits.

Nice.

But when you narrow your search to just one of the main stream media outlets:

You get 3!

Nice.

Again.

How wonderful to graduate with a degree in journalism.

Why Government Won’t Shrink

Just put this in the file of “I’m for the bill as long as I don’t pay.”

Under Rep. Darrell Issa’s bill, the 40 percent discount that nonprofits have been getting for the postage rates on their mailings since Congress authorized it in 1951 would be reduced by 5 percent a year, and to 10 percent after six years.

Advocates for nonprofits say they support all the proposed changes, except for the nonprofit provision.

As far as I know, this has nothing to do with Left vs. Right.  Just big vs. small.  Me vs. they.

Gross.

This Guy Is A Clown

He’s done:

“Unless things change and Obama can run on accomplishments, he will have to kill Romney,” said a prominent Democratic strategist aligned with the White House.

Kinder and gentler nation.

This is what a Liberati means when they say we have to control discourse.  They mean everyone except them.

I’m not so much shocked at the irony, I’m shocked anyone is shocked.

This Just In

80% of all people who pay no taxes are in favor of raising taxes on those who do pay taxes.

 

UPDATE:

This is not a scientific poll.  I asked 5 people who I didn’t think pay any taxes tonight while having a couple of beers after going to workout* at the Y.

* Where workout = a solid rotation of hot tub, sauna and steam room.