Monthly Archives: July 2011

Remarks of President Barack Obama
Weekly Address
July 9, 2011
Washington, DC

Earlier this week, we did something that’s never been done here at the White House – we had a Twitter Town Hall.

Dude, there’s a really good reason that’s never been done before.  Ahh, I mean other than the fact that no President has been President when Twitter was around.  It’s because Twitter Town Halls are for Lindsey Lohan, Beonce and Advice On #IWouldNeverStandForThatKindaNonsense.

Serious dude, Twitter Town Halls in the White House?

I even sent my first live tweet as President.

This is the thing a 7 year old says.  Not a President of the United States of America.

You are not running for American Idol.

The questions at the town hall were sent in from across the country and covered all kinds of topics – from jobs and the economy to education and energy.

Lots of people also submitted different versions of another question.  They’d start by saying that our politics has grown so contentious.

I wonder who they’re talking about Mr. #NotSoContentious man?

Then they’d ask, When will both parties in Congress come together on behalf of the people who elected them?

That’s a really important question, and it goes to the heart of a debate we’re having right now in this country – and that’s the debate about how to tackle the problem of our deficits and our debt.

Now, there are obviously real differences in approach. I believe we need a balanced approach. That means taking on spending in our domestic programs and our defense programs. It means addressing the challenges in programs like Medicare so we can strengthen those programs and protect them for future generations. And it means taking on spending in the tax code – spending on tax breaks

Have I told you how much I enjoy that?

and deductions for the wealthiest Americans.

But I also know that Republicans and Democrats don’t see eye to eye on a number of issues. And so, we’re going to continue working over the weekend to bridge those gaps.
The good news is, we agree on some of the big things. We agree that after a decade of racking up deficits and debt,

Dubya.  You still can’t let go of that whole “partisan game-playing in Washington” thing, can ya?

we finally need to get our fiscal house in order. We agree that to do that, both sides are going to have to step outside their comfort zones and make some political sacrifices. And we agree that we simply cannot afford to default on our national obligations for the first time in our history; that we need to uphold the full faith and credit of the United States of America

Do you know that even if we don’t extend the debt limit we won’t default?

With a recovery that’s still fragile and isn’t producing all the jobs we need, the last thing we can afford is the usual partisan game-playing in Washington.

See?

Mr. President, with all due respect, I would submit that you are the last person, in Washington, to suggest that we should set aside the “usual partisan game-playing in Washington” bit.  I mean, do you remember the whole “we won” thing?  Yeah…..I do.

By getting our fiscal house in order, Congress will be in a stronger position to focus on some of the job-creating measures I’ve already proposed

Nice deek.  Congress.

Oh, and I really like the whole “job-creating measures I’ve already proposed” bit.  Well played.

– like putting people to work rebuilding America’s infrastructure,

Huh?  We can do that now.  The monies we take in for roads and bridges can cover the repairs to our roads and bridges.  We just aren’t spending it on roads and bridges.

or reforming our patent system so that our innovators and entrepreneurs have a greater incentive to generate new products,

Yeah…patents.  THAT’S what’s holding us back!

or making college more affordable for families.

College s the next bubble.  Watch.

And businesses that may be holding back because of the uncertainty surrounding the possibility of a default by the U.S. government will have greater confidence to invest and create jobs.

No.

No.  Business is not holding back due to uncertainty surrounding default.  You got the uncertainty right, but you missed the whole “why” part.

I know we can do this. We can meet our fiscal challenge.  That’s what the American people sent us here to do. They didn’t send us here to kick our problems down the road. That’s exactly what they don’t like about Washington. They sent us here to work together. They sent us here to get things done.

Right now, we have an extraordinary – and extraordinarily rare – opportunity to move forward in a way that makes sure our government lives within its means,

What ARE you talking about?  We have this opportunity virtually every day.  Just quit spending so much frackin’ money!

that puts our economy on a sounder footing for the future, and that still invests in the things we need to prosper in the years to come.

And I’m hopeful that we will rise to the moment, and seize this opportunity, on behalf of all Americans, and the future we hold in common. Thanks everyone, and have a great weekend.

Remarks of President Barack Obama
Weekly Address
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Washington, DC

Right now, there are a lot of folks who are still struggling with the effects of the recession.  They’re wondering how they’d deal with an unexpected expense if their car breaks down.  They’re worried about layoffs. They’re not sure if they can help their kids pay for college. And for many families, these challenges were around long before the recession hit in 2007.

I ran for President because I believed in an America where ordinary folks could get ahead; where if you worked hard, you could have a better life.

See, I don’t think you did.  I think you ran for President because you felt that many of Americans’ had too much money.  And that you felt you could implement your own version of fair.

That’s been my focus since I came into office, and that has to be our focus now.

Mr. President?  To be fair, that hasn’t been any part of your focus since you came into office.  In fact, it’s been the exact opposite of your focus since you came into office.  See, you’ve focused on health care, auto bailouts and union givebacks.  None of those things creates jobs.

It’s one of the reasons why we’re working to reduce our nation’s deficit.

Define “working”.

Government has to start living within its means, just like families do.  We have to cut the spending we can’t afford so we can put the economy on sounder footing, and give our businesses the confidence they need to grow and create jobs.

I must say; truer words have never been spoken!

The good news is, Democrats and Republicans agree on the need to solve the problem.

Jeez, Mr. President, I hate to interrupt, but Democrats don’t agree on this point sir.  See, they wanna KEEP spending like college sophomores at Myrtle on Spring Break.

And over the last few weeks, the Vice President and I have gotten both parties to identify more than $1 trillion in spending cuts.  That’s trillion with a ‘t.’  But after a decade in which Washington ran up the country’s credit card,

Holy jeebus you won’t let Dubya go will ya?!?

we’ve got to find more savings to get out of the red.  That means looking at every program and tax break in the budget – every single one – to find places to cut waste and save money.  It means we’ll have to make tough decisions and scale back worthy programs.  And nothing can be off limits, including spending in the tax code, particularly the loopholes that benefit very few individuals and corporations.

I love with a capital L how you call a “tax break” a “spending program”.  So that’s how you’re gonna role, ain’t it?  You are gonna say that a tax break is an expenditure and that in order to “cut spending” you’ll have to “cut” those “tax breaks”.

Sparky….over heah….not foh nottin’, but ‘dat sounds like a tax hike to me! /SexyMobAccent

Now, it would be nice if we could keep every tax break, but we can’t afford them.

Here it comes….the money line….

Because if we choose to keep those tax breaks for millionaires and billionaires,

millionaires and billionaires…..

or for hedge fund managers and corporate jet owners,

MO’NEY!

or for oil and gas companies pulling in huge profits

I gotta say….I’d bet even money, EVEN ‘effin money, you couldn’t tell me what profit means!  Just sayin’.

without our help – then we’ll have to make even deeper cuts somewhere else.  We’ve got to say to a student, ‘You don’t get a college scholarship.’

Psssst…..ssshhhhhh, don’t tell no one…..he maybe don’t.

We have to say to a medical researcher, ‘You can’t do that cancer research.’ We might have to tell seniors, ‘You have to pay more for Medicare.’

How ’bout we tell 2 year unemployed guy he don’t need no more benefits?  How about we tell the college researcher looking into the mating habits of the Russian Yak we don’t maybe care so much?  How about we quit hiring $800,000 prison doctors?

Why do you always ALWAYS take the most important expenditures and put them at the top of the “cut list”?

Never mind…..I think I know.

That isn’t right, and it isn’t smart.  We’ve got to cut the deficit, but we can do that while making investments

Did’ja know that investments = spending?  I told you that Democrats don’t agree we need to cut spending.

in education, research, and technology that actually create jobs.  We can live within our means while still investing in our future.  That’s what we have to do.  And I’m confident that the Democrats and Republicans in Congress can find a way to give some ground, make some hard choices, and put their shoulders to wheel to get this done for the sake of our country.

On Monday, we celebrate Independence Day, the day we declared a new nation, based on revolutionary idea: that people ought to determine their own destiny; that freedom and self-governance weren’t gifts handed to us by kings or emperors, but the rights of every human being.

Yeah.  Some of us [hint hint] believe that ore than others do.  I suspect you are very much in favor of removing self-governance wherever you can.

We’ve learned in the years since that democracy isn’t always pretty.  We have arguments.  We disagree.  But time and again we’ve proven that we could come together to solve problems.  We remember that while we may not see eye-to-eye on everything, we share a love for this country and a faith in its future.  That’s the spirit we need to harness now.  That’s how we’ll meet this challenge and reach a brighter day.  Thanks for listening, and have a wonderful fourth of July.

You don’t have to thank me for listening.  What would be refreshing is if YOU would listen.