Tarheel Red

Dan Mitchell has an awesome document that represents the changes to the Declaration of Independence that might be made if the Liberal Elites had their way.

Enjoy:

IN CAMBRIDGE, July 4, 2011.
The unanimous Declaration of the Ivy League,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for all peoples to strengthen
political control over rampant individualism, and to assume among the powers of the
earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and Gaia entitle them, a
decent respect to the opinions of personkind requires that they should declare the causes
which impel them to expand government.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all people should be made equal, that they are
endowed by their government with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are jobs,
healthcare and housing.–That to secure these rights, Governments must rule over the
people, deriving their just powers from the consent of the elite, –That whenever the
people becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Elite to alter or to abolish
it, and to institute more Government, laying its foundation on such principles and
organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect the power
and control of the elite.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments should not be reduced or constrained;
and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that personkind are more disposed to suffer,
while capitalism is sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which
they are accustomed. But when a long train of liberties and freedoms, pursuing invariably
the same Object evinces a design to liberate them from the elite, it is government’s
obligation, it is their duty, to impose more Government, and to provide new Guards for
their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of the elite; and such is now
the necessity which constrains them to expand their former Systems of Government. The
history of the Founding Fathers is a history of repeated limitations on state power, all
having in direct object the restriction of an absolute Tyranny over the people. To prove
this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
They refused to facilitate more Laws, based on our evolving definition of what is
necessary for the public good.
They have forbidden the bureaucracy to impose Laws of political importance, unless the
Constituion is amended.
They refused to allow other Laws for the accommodation of dependency among the
people, depriving those people of the right of paid vacations, maternal leave, and cable
TV.
They imposed limitations the power of government that were unusual, uncomfortable to
the ruling class, for the sole purpose of limiting government power.
They restricted the power of Congress repeatedly, thus hindering invasions on the rights
of the people.

They refused for a long time, after such restrictions, to allow courts to create new rights
for Internet access and electric cars to the People at large for their exercise; the State
remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of inadequate power to control
people’s lives.
They endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing
automatic voter registration for illegal immigrants.
They obstructed the imposition of bureaucracy, by refusing their Assent to Laws for
empowering the Judiciary to expand government.
They required Judges to obey the Constitution, instead of treating it as an evolving
document.
They failed to erect a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither inadequate swarms of
Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
They failed to impose among us, in times of peace, a big enough EPA, BATF, or OSHA.
They affected to render the people independent of and superior to the state’s power.
They combined with citizens to limit the elite with a constitution, making it difficult to
impose our preferred Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of bureaucrats among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which
they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province,
establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as
to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same
absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering
fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with
power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
They limited Government here, wanting the President to get approval before waging War
against Libya.

They made it difficult for us to plunder the seas, ravage the Coasts, burn the towns, and
destroy the lives of people.
They would forbid transporting large Armies of U.N. Mercenaries to compleat the works
of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy
scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a
civilized nation.
They constrained to the federal government so it could not bear Arms against the
Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves
by their Hands.
They failed to allow an income tax until 1913, which delayed our ability to bring on the
inhabitants of our nation, the merciless IRS agents, whose known rule of warfare, is an
undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these unpleasant freedoms We have Petitioned for Redress in the most
humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A
Constitution whose character is thus marked by every act which may define freedom, is
unfit to enable the enslavement of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them
from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction
over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement
here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured
them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would
inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the
voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity,
which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies
in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the political elite, in faculty lounges, Assembled,
appealing to the United Nations for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and
by Authority of government, solemnly publish and declare, That the American people
ought to be governed by the United Nations; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance
to the Constitution, and that all political connection between them and the Founding
Fathers, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as highly-taxed and dependent
States, they have full Power to levy taxes, disrupt Peace, contract new departments and
agencies, regulate Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which the political
elite may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the
protection of the establishment media, we mutually demand your Lives, your Fortunes
and your sacred Honor.