The Chairman’s Weekly Radio Address: January 31, 2009

Barack Obama’s Weekly Radio Address

January 31, 2009

This morning I’d like to talk about some good news and some bad news as we confront our economic crisis.

Finally, some change I can believe in.  I am very very much in need of good news.  But, alas, I don’t believe you are capable of delivering it.

The bad news is well known to Americans across our country as we continue to struggle through unprecedented economic turmoil.

Are you talking to America?  Or, are you talking to your daughters?  Unprecedented economic turmoil…..that is just inexcusably irresponsible.

Yesterday we learned that our economy shrank by nearly 4 percent

Yo, Mr. “detail leaver outer”….the economy did not shrink by 4%, or even the 3.8% that was reported.  It shrank by .965% for the 4th quarter 2008.  Call it 1%, go ahead and round up to continue to scare us silly.  But really, really!, 4%?  Something about irresponsible comes to mind.  Though I suspect I am going to have to discipline myself to continue to avoid such references.

from October through December. That decline was the largest in over a quarter century, and it underscores the seriousness of the economic crisis that my administration found when we took office.

Nice pick.  Blame Dubya for all of this.  As if the Senate had noooothing to do with it.  Didn’t vote for TARP.  Golly, if ONLY we could get one two of those Senators and just YELL at them.

Already the slowdown has cost us tens of thousands of jobs in January alone. And the picture is likely to get worse before it gets better.

Make no mistake,

Umm, so far, it’s not me thats making the mistakes.

these are not just numbers. Behind every statistic there’s a story. Many Americans have seen their lives turned upside down. Families have been forced to make painful choices. Parents are struggling to pay the bills. Patients can’t afford care. Students can’t keep pace with tuition. And workers don’t know whether their retirement will be dignified and secure.

The good news

Oh good!  Good news…..

is that we are moving forward with a sense of urgency equal to the challenge.

Awesome.  Waiting for the goods.

This week the House passed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan,

Wait wait wait….what is this?  You said, you PROMISED me good news.

which will save or create more than 3 million jobs over the next few years. It puts a tax cut into the pockets of working families,

No.  No it doesn’t.  What it DOES do is put MY money in their pockets.  But, you know–details, who needs ’em?.

and places a down payment on America’s future by investing in energy independence and education, affordable health care, and American infrastructure.

Good ideas all.  But, step over here Sparky……none of them have anything to do with, you know, the economy.  Much less stimulating it.

Now this recovery plan moves to the Senate. I will continue working with both parties so that the strongest possible bill gets to my desk.

I bet we have different definitions of “strong” in this case.

With the stakes so high we simply cannot afford the same old gridlock and partisan posturing in Washington. It’s time to move in a new direction.

gawd.

Americans know that our economic recovery will take years

As in, say….about…threeish?  Just right in time for your second run at the Office?

— not months. But they will have little patience if we allow politics to get in the way of action,

hahahahah, stop!  My belly hurts.  Really.

and our economy continues to slide. That’s why I am calling on the Senate to pass this plan, so that we can put people back to work and begin the long, hard work of lifting our economy out of this crisis. No one bill, no matter how comprehensive, can cure what ails our economy. So just as we jumpstart job creation, we must also ensure that markets are stable, credit is flowing, and families can stay in their homes.

Except that putting those families in their homes is the cause of all of this.  But, I’m sure you knew that, right?  Wait…why are shaking your head no?  Oh my, how embarrassing, you didn’t know that did you?

Last year Congress passed a plan to rescue the financial system.

Don’t make it sound like it was “they”.  YOU voted for it.  Don’t ever forget that; we won’t!

While the package helped avoid a financial collapse, many are frustrated by the results — and rightfully so. Too often taxpayer dollars have been spent without transparency or accountability. Banks have been extended a hand, but homeowners, students, and small businesses that need loans have been left to fend on their own.

And adding to this outrage, we learned this week that even as they petitioned for taxpayer assistance, Wall Street firms shamefully paid out nearly $20 billion in bonuses for 2008. While I’m committed to doing what it takes to maintain the flow of credit, the American people will not excuse or tolerate such arrogance and greed. The road to recovery demands that we all act responsibly, from Main Street to Washington to Wall Street.

Soon my Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, will announce a new strategy for reviving our financial system

Raise taxes and then not pay ’em.  Love it!

that gets credit flowing to businesses and families. We’ll help lower mortgage costs and extend loans to small businesses so they can create jobs. We’ll ensure that CEOs are not draining funds that should be advancing our recovery. And we will insist on unprecedented transparency, rigorous oversight, and clear accountability — so taxpayers know how their money is being spent and whether it is achieving results.

Rarely in history has our country faced economic problems as devastating as this crisis.

All right, stop.  Devastating.  Crisis.  How about this change?  Change the way in which you are painting this economic exercise.

But the strength of the American people compels us to come together. The road ahead will be long, but I promise you that every day that I go to work in the Oval Office I carry with me your stories, and my administration is dedicated to alleviating your struggles and advancing your dreams.

How about this?  If you stay out of the way, I’ll promise to work on my dream by myself.  Sheesh.

You are calling for action. Now is the time for those of us in Washington to live up to our responsibilities.

UPDATE:

I was in bed and it dawned on me; you kinda fooked me on that whole Good News thing.

One response to “The Chairman’s Weekly Radio Address: January 31, 2009

  1. Tarheel – wonderfuly funny but true analysis of his address.

    Who Saved President Obama’s Life?

    Find out at:

    andeeroo.wordpress.com

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